INS jokes
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.