INS jokes
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
All you need is a razor blade in life.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.