INS jokes
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.