INS jokes

Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

How do you find out if your kid is gay?

Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.

What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.

A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.

Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?

It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜

What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?

Quatro Sinco.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."

COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.

My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.