INS jokes
"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."
"Why?"
"He was very open-minded!"
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.
Who are the fastest readers?
911, they went through 110 stories in 8 seconds.
I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in-between 9-11.
Why did 10 die??
Because he was in between 9/11.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."