INS jokes
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
Lucas is bronze 1 in RL.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
What is a testicle's favorite book?
Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.