INS jokes
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
I wish the grass in my yard was emo. It could just cut itself.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
The perfect Dating Website doesnt exis-
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the car drive over the cake?
'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.
Logic fire bars in Fortnite sped up to sound like he [is a] chipmunk like Alvin, Simon, and Theodore :)
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.
An argument in the Middle East.
You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
Q: How do you get 10 babies in a trashcan?
A: With a blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.