INS jokes

Hunter

    • Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

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    • Closet

    • Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

    Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

    Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

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    • INS memes

    Toaster

    • I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

    Mama

    • Yo mama so fat...

    ...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

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    • Coronavirus

    • *Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".

    The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

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    • Accident

    • A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

    And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."

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    • Difference

    • The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,

    dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and

    morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

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    • Library

    • This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

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