INS jokes
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
What is the most common theme in Africa?
Starvation.
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
You and Jason in your bed.
What thing can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
What is the poorest country in the world?
Poortugal...
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.