INS jokes

Dick

  • I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time.

    Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight.

    And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle." (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle.")

    But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick. And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)

    Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket

    So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut. And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

    And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good)

    I've been twerking for boys for so long I've been flirting with boys for so long

    My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

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    Pee

  • When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.

    I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.

    Tumor

  • In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

    Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

    A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

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    Baby

  • What’s the difference between morbid humor and dark humor?

    Dark humor is 10 babies in one trash can, and morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

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    Country

  • In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.

    In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.

    In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.

    In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.

    Pussy

  • Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

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    Student

  • If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

    If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

    If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

    Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

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  • Minecraft

  • Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!

    YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.

    And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.

    Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!

    I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

    I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.

    Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.

    It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...

    END!

    Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!

    Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!

    Axe it's head, axe it's head.

    Axe it's head, defeat him.

    SUBSCRIBE!!!

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    Adoption

  • So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

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  • Guy

  • I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!

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    Snake

  • There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

    She replies with, "These are my headlights."

    He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

    So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

    Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"