INS jokes
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
You and Jason in your bed.
Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.