INS jokes
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?
Panera Shed.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.