INS jokes
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What do a black and a tornado have in common?
They both wreck neighborhoods.
Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.
Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Comment anything if you like what you saw with Gwen in her bra!
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
I don't wanna brag, but I finished a puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.
Women in general are jokes.
Gay gang.
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
Having sex in an elevator is wrong. On so many levels.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.