INS jokes
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma dik fit in your mouth.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
I haven't seen sunlight in 3 years
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
What do the N and F in "orphan" stand for?
"No family."
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
If you're American coming into the bathroom,
And you're American coming out of the bathroom,
What are you in the bathroom?
European.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
A guard at a baseball stadium let in the pheasant, the chicken, and the duck. But he didn't let in the turkey. Why? Because four strikes and you are out!
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
"1v1 me in Clash, you're trash, bro."