INS jokes

"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Roses are red, violets are violet,

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot!

I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

I kicked a soccer ball into a kid in a wheelchair, so we are playing Rocket League.

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?

To make room in the freezer for his special meat.

What do apples and orphans have in common?

The apple gets picked.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"

What goes up but never comes down?

Water in Australia.

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!

I threw a boomerang two years ago... I live in constant fear.

Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!

Why do emo kids not jump?

They're still in the sky.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.

What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?

Sunbeams.