INS jokes
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
What's the first rule of Wank Club?
Don't shake hands with anyone else in Wank Club.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.