INS jokes
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D