INS jokes

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm!

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.

Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Why don’t orphans live in villages?

Because they will get abandoned.

Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.

The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?

Yeah, it went on and on.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.

+1 Comet.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

What's the most illegal activity in Africa?

Watering the plants.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.