INS jokes
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.
The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.
The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.
9 years later......
All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
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