INS jokes
What do Indian and Jewish people have in common?
They both avoid the showers at all times.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.