INS jokes

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

How do you say "nose" in Spanish?

hmm.... No sé.

I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

How do you make a handkerchief dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?

Panda-monium!

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.

What goes in hard but comes out soft?

Gum.

Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!

I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

But no pun in ten did.

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.