INS jokes
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
FAKE but funny
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.