INS jokes
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
ill suck on that big toe for 5 bucks in the back of an alley way to be honest
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.