INS jokes
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.