INS jokes
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She didn't have any arms, remember!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.