INS jokes
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"