INS jokes
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
The S in America stands for safe.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.