INS jokes
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, βI really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!β
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess thatβs what you get when youβre bad at hide and seek.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
Itβs the premium version of gay.