INS jokes
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.
If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
What does the "W" stand for in Africa?
Water. Too bad there's no "W" in Africa.
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.