INS jokes
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
exactly
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...
In A minor.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because he got stuck in a crack.