INS jokes

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"

What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"

Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

So they can get in the cast!

Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

Don't bother; just try to live in England.

DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.

Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.