INS jokes
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.