Roman Empire jokes
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!
Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
Community talk
“ When the Jews return to Zion - And a comet fills the sky - The Holy Roman Empire rises - And you and I must die - From the eternal sea he rises - Creating armies on either shore - Turning man against his brother - Till man exists no more”
I need to know, this question for all the guys, how often you think bout the Roman Empire?
My brothas..how often do you think of the Holy Roman Empire?