Roman Empire jokes
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With Caesar!
Is it just me, or can I see the Roman Empire from how far back your hairline goes?
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!