INS jokes

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.

No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I think broken heart's contagious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost then I'm found. But it's torture bein' in love. I love when you're around. But I f**kin' hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

Why does Hitler hate golf?

He would end up in a bunker!

What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?

They both have no way home.

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

“It’s really not your day, is it?”