INS jokes

Hairline

  • When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

    Titanic

  • Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.

    Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!

    Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-

    Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!

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  • Kid

  • Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

    I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

    Prayer

  • A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

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  • Orphan

  • What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

    They go to infinity and beyond.

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  • Depression

  • Do depressed people hate swimming?

    They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.

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  • Wetback

  • I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."

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  • Hitler

  • There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

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