INS jokes
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
I can see my future in your forehead.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?
You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.