When the school shooter breaks into the classroom and you look at your friend cause it’s the kid you predicted
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"
The 911 people really dint scramble fast enough so they got folded like and omelet
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church. A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke but the third nun, her arm was too short.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common? A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said “THATS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” the man replied with “no, it’s not domestic violence it’s DUMBASS-D*CK VIOLENCE”
"Officer I dropped kicked that child in self defense." -Techno
I got in trouble at school today bc I played the knife game with a pair of scissors but I couldn't flip them off bc I was missing that finger.
Just ask for a hotspot on September 9 2001, you'll know.
You were born on the highway, Thats where most accidents happen.
we all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when : 1 he staring mighty hard at yall. 2 when your friend know you gon get your *ss beat. 3 when your friend say he not gon jump in ( you know he lying.
