Last night I burned an orphanage there was one survivor who said I would regret it I said "What are you gonna do tell your parents?"
A guy was in one of the twin towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza but he didn't get it he got plane instead
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom and you look at your friend cause it’s the kid you predicted
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with "what do you mean I already did it" then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said "Aww it pays to be lazy!"
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
Someone stole my grass today, I went to the police and they said: "What's wrong?" I said "How could you tell something was wrong?" they replied "you were looking forlorn"
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
The 911 people really dint scramble fast enough so they got folded like and omelet
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna I’d hit that
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better then shouting he’s got a gun at the airport
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church. A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke but the third nun, her arm was too short.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common? A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said “THATS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” the man replied with “no, it’s not domestic violence it’s DUMBASS-D*CK VIOLENCE”
You were born on the highway, Thats where most accidents happen.
