Incident jokes
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
Today in class, I screamed "Jenga!"
We were watching a 9/11 documentary.
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
Every 911 joke isn't that good.
Well, at least not until they come crashing down.
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!