Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.
A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.
First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.
It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."
He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.
She walks away and says ok.
The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
