They say give a man an inch he'll take a mile what about women they don't have Dick's
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
what is 6 inches and its long and its long? a slim Jim
what is six inches,goes in your mouth,and it's fun when it vibrates.A TOOTH BRUSH.
what at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth and its more fun if it vibrates ? a toothbrush
my uncle was a preist he had a two-inch penis but when it was in my ass it felt like a torpedo
Whats stiff and 6 inches long?
S.i.d.s
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Do you work at subway because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong
If you have a GF/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say "Your short lemme add some inches"
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
And toothbrush
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common? Miss by few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Spare
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
whats thick 12 inches and in your mums throat my penis
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
