Inch jokes
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.