Im jokes

I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.

Hi, I'm Coby Bayley.

So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"

Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"

Technoblade: Makes jokes about orphans while in hospital.

Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss.

Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!

Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??

I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.

Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”

Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."

Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

I can't put it down.

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."