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Im jokes

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Blood

    • Guys, I'm back...

    Here's my joke:

    What is blue and red all over?

    Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

    Meat

    • Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

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    Floor

    • Denki: Did you just... fall over?

    Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.

    Sero: Backwards?

    Bakugo: I'm talented.

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    Baseball

    • Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

    Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

    Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

    Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

    Lady: "Let me do that."

    Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

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    • Ice Cream

    • Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

    The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

    Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

    The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

    Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

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    Article

    • Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

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    • Farmer

    • A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

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    • Cow

    • A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

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