Im jokes
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Call me an edgelord because I'm gonna impale myself on the edge of a spear.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
Hello ppls, I'm lilkitten ig.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.