My girlfriend said to me dear i think you have hit an animal theirs blood and dents all over the bonnet
I said no love, im not waiting for a black lives matter rally
My dad said wheres pickles the family cat i said im sorry to say hes in the sky, oh i see he passed away no i strapped him to 20 fireworks
:popular girl. Sorry iM lAtE. :teacher. Why are u late! :girl. I NeEd My BueAty SleEp :Nerd. Well u might need to hibernate because u ain’t pretty
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
Ugly kid people keeps saying im ugly.Me there certainly not wrong
a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.
Go up to someone and say "im sorry for your loss" and see what they do
little johnny was late to class the teacher ask him where was he little johnny said i was on top of marry hill the a kid comes late to class and also said he was on marry hill then a little girl thats about 4 or 5 comes in the teacher ask who are you she said IM MARRY HILL
Im not fat!!
Im a Nutritional Overachiever
I will be back, im gonna get milk..... Me:....
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken
Q.if i go 1 on 1 with Harvey weinstein i wont get raped A. im not a 14 yr old girl
i not going bungi jumping i was born by broken rubber and thats not how im going out
when the husbon said you is your ass so big she said because im holding my shit
im so proud of my grandpa, he killed hitler. WAIT-
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said i cant treat you, the boy asked why, and the doctor said because im a family doctor.
hi im depraashinhi im rope me can i hang with you guys
deku: hey todroki are you done with your Halloween costume todo: yes*comes out in a macaroni outfit deku:wha- im todoroni bakugo:omfg im out *blows up ua*
This my first joke on here I know it sucks. I tried.
ur mom (idk im bored)
