Im jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
I'm gonna cut my life off.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."