Im jokes
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Why did the skeleton have no friends?
He was a boner!
Heheheh!
Ah, see ya soon kiddo.
I'm going on break.
I'll give you some fried snow later!
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What will Reddit be without the robot logo?
Reddot.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
Yo mama so stupid.
When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
Wife: "Hi honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not...."
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."