Im jokes
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
I’m reading a book on antigravity right now.
It’s impossible to put down.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.
Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
I'm dead inside.