Im jokes

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.

The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

AR-15: Who are you?

Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.

Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

I'm a joke supremacist.

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Why do I tell bad jokes?

I'm a lesbian.

I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.

Real emo: same.

Fake emo: another piece of cake.

I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.

Now for my joke...

Why does Peter Pan always fly?

Because he never lands.