If jokes
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?
If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Stop bullying orphans!
What if they tell their parents?
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.