If jokes

What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?

"Want to see if it fits?"

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.