If jokes

What is the difference between my dad’s generation and my generation of women?

He had Wonder Woman, and I have to wonder if it’s a woman.

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!

I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!

Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.

Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?

"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.

A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.

If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

Advice to the Clown telling all of the "Orphan Jokes":

If it's NOT "Funny", then DON'T POST IT!

What's it called if an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.