If jokes
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
Like if you listen to Kidd G.
Comment if you listen to Polo G.
Share if you listen to NBA Youngboy.
Do all if you listen to all of them and you all of them if Kobe Bryant is a legend.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.