If jokes

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

Like this post and comment down below if you want me to announce my real name in my next post!

If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?

Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.