If jokes

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.

Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?

From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.

What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?

Coldemort!

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)