If jokes

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.

Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?

From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.

What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?

Coldemort!

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?

If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.