Hygiene jokes
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?
You stink!
Fraser smells.
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel!
Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Q: What do you call a clean idiot?
A: Soap on a Dope.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Where did Tigger go looking for Pooh?
In the toilet! 🚽 💩 💩 💩
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.
*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
Bleach solves so many problems:
Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.