Hygiene jokes

Q: What do you call a clean idiot?

A: Soap on a Dope.

The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.

Why was the washing machine laughing?

It was taking the piss out of the knickers!

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?

To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.

*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*

My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.

How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!

Yo mama so poop and peepee and sucks on dick.

I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Bleach solves so many problems:

Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.

Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?

Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.

What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street?

Because it got stuck in a crack :)