Hygiene jokes

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.

I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D

Lynx: For that cheap teenage smell of desperation.

Where did Tigger go looking for Pooh?

In the toilet! 🚽 💩 💩 💩

What gets wetter as it dries?

A towel!

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?

To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣