Hygiene jokes
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
Your hairline is so dusty that it got musty.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
Why is my butt wet? I forgot.
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!