Hygiene jokes

Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.

My ass itches.

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*

What do you call sex with a hoover?

Clean sex.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Yo mama so fat, she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

What did one butt say to the other?

Something brown is slithering down.

What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.

61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.

Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.