Hygiene jokes
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.
😷 👕 👖 Stay safe in Quarantine.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Your.
Your who?
Your hoochie coochie stinks.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What's white and sticky?
Toothpaste.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
Bleach solves so many problems:
Stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation of orphans.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.