Hygiene jokes
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
My dick itches.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.