Hygiene jokes
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Two nuns in a bath.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
Y'all smell like ass!
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why do balls be hairy? Cause they stinky!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
POO I LOVE POO.
Here’s my song:
“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”
Thank you!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.