Hygiene jokes

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?

A Corgi Potty.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.