Hygiene jokes
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What does a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both scrape the cheese out of the box for a nice snack.
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Your mama's breath smells so bad, people can't wait for her to fart.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."