Hygiene jokes
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?
Because they like to floss.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Your mama is so fat, when she farted, the world had to wear gas masks.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
POO I LOVE POO.
Here’s my song:
“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”
Thank you!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Y'all smell like ass!
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.