Hygiene jokes

Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣