Hygiene jokes
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?