Hygiene jokes
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."