Hygiene jokes
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!