Hygiene jokes
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.