Hygiene jokes
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Yo mama so poop and peepee and sucks on dick.
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.