Hygiene jokes
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Your.
Your who?
Your hoochie coochie stinks.