Hygiene jokes
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
What's white and sticky?
Toothpaste.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.