Hygiene jokes

Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?

They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.

How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.

Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?

What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?

The cheetah became spotless!

The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

So he could make a clean getaway!

What's white and sticky?

Toothpaste.

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.

What do bubbles get when they’re sick?

The suds.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in some laundry...

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

With a taste test.

There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?