Hygiene jokes
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
Why did the butthole get angry?
So it could wipe every human, snipe.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.