Humor
I love having fun.
I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
PERSON: I need to go so bad! TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
Only really smart people will get this without it being explained.
Toilet paper fight hat.
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"