Humor
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.