Humor
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
*fart* 👀 Oops!
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.