Humor
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier? “Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
My father can take a joke because he made one.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?
Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.
Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.
Scroll down for explanation.
Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.