Humor
Why?
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.