Humor
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What's white, sticky, and better to spit out then to swallow?
Toothpaste.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?